Thursday, November 24, 2011

A Day of Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving!  Though I'm thankful for all the blessing in my life every day, I wanted to write them all down on this special day.  I'm doing well, I really am.  Though some people think I may be feeling sad or whatever else, I am strong and living my life to the fullest.  I have my moments and I will allow myself to grieve for a loss that was very real to me.  I'm very proud at how far I have come.
I'm enjoying a nice cup of coffee (haven't had a cup of coffee in over 8 years because it hurts my stomach).  We bought a Keurig last weekend and it came with coffee, so I figured what the heck.  It's the best machine ever, we love it!  That is one thing I'm thankful for. :]

Other things I'm thankful for...
-My husband:  I have had my best friend by my side for 9 1/2 years.  He knows me better than anyone else in the world.  He has watched me turn into the person I am today.  He has been there with me through the darkest days and I can never thank him enough for that.  The best thing about him?  His sense of humor.  He makes me laugh every single day.  He is one of the funniest people I know and that laughter has kept me going through all this.  He will really be the best dad in the world.  I hope one day he will get a chance to be one.  I love you!
-My pups:  I have been an animal lover since I can remember.  I have had two dogs prior to the ones I have now, and I'm always thankful for them.  The two we have now are the loves of our lives.  They have brought so much joy to our house.  We rescued them about a month after we moved in together.  They are brother and sister.  They are totally crazy!  They will never understand how much of my happiness I owe to them.  The night of my miscarriage, they were in bed with me laying right by my side.  Dogs are amazing creatures.  I can't imagine my life without them.
-My family:  I have a wonderful family.  I'm so thankful everyone is happy and healthy.  My parents were there with me for the first few days of the miscarriage and it was so nice to have their love and support.
-My job:  Though there are times I want to scream, I am so thankful I have a teaching job during this difficult time for teachers.  I love teaching and it has been so great for me the last month.
-My home:  I love my house!  I call it my safe haven.  I cannot wait to leave work every day just to come home.  Every time I walk up to my house, my heart flutters.  It's the most adorable and warm home I have ever been in.  I love everything about it.  It makes me so happy to live where I do.  The beach is right down the street and I love smelling the salty ocean every morning.  I'm so incredibly blessed to live where I do.  My parents have a lot to do where we live, and I cannot thank them enough for helping us get this dream home.
-My pregnancy:  Yes, the pregnancy that I no longer have.  I am thankful I got to feel what it was like to be pregnant.  I have never felt happiness like that before.  To think there was a little being growing inside of me is an indescribable feeling.  Though I'm heartbroken it has been taken away from me, I'm thankful I got to know what it felt like.  I have come to terms that I may never get to feel it again and I will cherish those few months forever.  I miss my baby more than I can explain and I wish it was with me, but I know it wasn't meant to be here.  I bought a necklace with a quote from one of my favorite stories about Jesus.  When I'm feeling sad, I squeeze it and know that I will be okay.  I love you little one and wish so very much I could have met you one day.

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